Let’s talk some mother fucking Drag Race
Lets just talk so Drag Race, because none of these other queen by queen take downs on Tumblr is making any damn sense to me. I am doing this. Maybe I will do this every week. Who knows. I am just super excited this show is back, and I do not have the patience for my non-Logo having IRL friends to catch up so I can talk about it.
Jinkx Monsoon
Gauging from the reaction on Twitter, the younger children are not gravitating to her. Ironically for the second youngest queen on the show (only 24!), she seems to be getting love from older, more knowing gays (which is exactly what RuPaul is as well, remember). She’s working in a Justin Vivian Bond as Kiki vein here. That tiny glimpse of her as Little Edie has the making of Snatch Game hall of fame all over it. This is clearly a queen (like Sharon before her) who is working in a classic niche of camp, far far away from those Lady Gaga influences that seem so prevalent these days and I am all for it.
Vivienne Pinay
Who? She gets the award for smallest impression ever left on a season premier. She’s gonna have to step it up, or be easily forgotten early elimination fodder. There’s no choice but to reserve judgement.
Detox iCunt
I’m getting the feeling this is going to be a sped-up version of my original reaction to Raven: “Oh, that’s nice, but I don’t love it” to “Yes! Honey!” I think I just want a full out hipster queen so badly, and they both stop just short of being that (because honestly who admits to being a hipster anyway?). Watching her performances on YouTube is definitely selling me on her though. She’s done multiple performances of Sophia Lamar songs. Now, Sophia doesn’t sing. If you’re pulling a song from her limited electroclash ouvre, it means you’re probably a fellow member of the Church of the Holy Goddess of Lamar and I am all here for that.
She’s also going to be the producers go-to for talking head spot on shade throwing, ain’t she?
Ivy Winters
Ivy can sew multiple houses down. Ivy can do more stunts than a three ring circus. But does she have anything resembling an actual personality? That remains to be seen.
Monica Beverlyhillz
Dida Ritz 2.0, right? Legs for days. Polish for minutes. Fashion sense for seconds. I’m more interested in her “big secret” next week. Not that this is something someone should be speculating on, but having a queen come out as transgendered during the actual show could be interesting.
Roxxxy Andrews
People on Tumblr love her apparently. All sorts of posts everywhere about her being top three material. I have nothing against her, but she’s certainly not giving me anything new or exciting, right? As a side note: she has an eerie resemblance to Miami queen Noel Leon. Maybe that’s why I’m not too excited? She’s giving me super polished, but ultimately basic Florida queen drag. Girl, I see it every week, but, who knows, she could get me more excited.
Alaska
Lets end the “bad Sharon” nonsense. Sharons serves horror camp. Alaska is doing a send up of white trash pageant queen glamour. Not too much overlap there in final product.
I also appreciate how Alaska was the only one to really embrace the trash aspect of the challenge (well, ok, kind of like how Sharon went full out Zombie during her first challenge). Her giving up on the mini-challenge reeked of “Well, I know mini-challenges don’t matter much anyway. Which means she knows how to play the game. Whether so brazingly playing the game works out for her not, well, we’ll see.
It’s also going to annoy me if she remains in character more often than not. The second she breaks that wall and shows (what I assume is) the intelligence behind it, then I’ll sign on completely.
Coco Montrese
Love at first “Old hollywood, white woman fish, baby!” Green contacts aside, I am here for her personality and energy. There’s shade of Latrice’s lovable exuberance here, and I just hope the drama doesn’t bring it down. Her outfit was certainly much to much, but she worked it. Or maybe I’m just biased because I found out she was originally born in Miami (though never worked here).
Lineysha Sparx
First of all: damn papi. She’s lacking in personality, but is an entire aquarium worth of fish. That face! Her dress was a really good impression of bad couture. Which is to say, impressive construction, if not my exact taste. I’m guess she’ll end up lip synching in more than one episodes that focus on personality or acting ability though, which is to say I don’t think she’s going anywhere fast.
Alyssa Edwards
You would think after the Phi Phi debacle of last year, any queen in her right mind would be damned sure to steer clear of going down that path. Alyssa though seems to be truding right down it (and amazingly she’s got competition from Serena, and maybe Jade). Though, I think she’s also self aware enough to know that’s exactly why she was cast, and the producers definitely wanted that guaranteed Coco/Alyssa drama. There was even a point during one of the Untucked talking head where she trashes Coco’s dress and asks “Was that too much” like the producers prompted her to talk shit, and she was afraid she went over board. Though her annoying bombardment of Alaska over Sharon certainly makes it seems like she’s a natural for the part in which she’s been cast. She’s not all that interesting to me otherwise, but she’s polished enough where Ru and the producers will keep her around as long as they need a villain.
Honey Mahogany
I want to love her because of that social worker background, but she has early season sacrifice written all over her at this point. Then again, she does have the mini-Ru factor going for her.
Jade Jolie
Girl walked in looking like she dipped herself in hot glue and rolled around in a toy chest. I thought her classy handling of the porn “scandal” might indicate a surprising amount of maturity, but did she not find a way to insert herself into every bit of drama last night? She might not start it, but she’s like moth to light when it comes to drama. Actually, a Lisa Frank butterfly to drama, that one is.
Serena Cha Cha
Both because I would be living for a genuine art world trick on this show, and because I kinda know more than a few people who kinda know her (She’s billed as from Tallahasse from the show, but has actually been working in Wilton Manors/Ft. Lauderdale since graduation — not that I had heard of her) I had high expectations. Instead girl is just an irritating mess. First of all, Soft Sculpture is not a particularly new art medium, nor did it have anything to do with the dress she produced. That shit looked like a bad art and crafts attempt at Rodarte at the bottom, and Uter from The Simpsons goes to gay pride at the top. Not cute. She’s trying to be drag professor, but is giving off a yapping chihuahua in a cute. Totally cute out of drag though, right? It’s like my Phi Phi crises all over again.
Penny Tration
Oh, sweet, sweet Penny Tration. She was like the sweet matron queen you could walk in and find at any small town gay bar in America and want to hug. And that was the problem, wasn’t it? She didn’t show much ambition to be anything else but that. In so many ways, Penny’s kind is the heart and soul of drag across most of this country, but its just not the kind who does good on this show.
Random observations:
-I really wish they would have made the challenge more specific, or at least hammered home the garbage aspect of the challenge more so than the Hollywood aspect. Alaska was really the only one to specifically catch on to that. Otherwise it was a basic red carpet fashion free for all.
-Floridians and those knowledgeable of regional college town rivalries should be delighted that the Tallahassee queen (Serena) got into it instantly with the Gainesville queen (Jade).
-In fact, in addition to the three queens billed from Florida, Coco and Detox also are natives who got their start here. Yet, sadly, not a single queen from the Miami/Lauderdale drag establishment. Honestly, I think you could do an entire season with South Florida queens and no one would complain.
-Which queens do you think will end up in a relationship, as Ru hinted? Serena seems open to it, and bitches seem to be sweating Lineysha. My oddball guess is Detox/Ivy though.
