semiserious

an internalnet diablog
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Still love you Dr. Will Kirby from Big Brother Season Two. Love you forever. Love how you were so unembarrassed about shaving your armpits on the regular even though. 

Still love you Dr. Will Kirby from Big Brother Season Two. Love you forever. Love how you were so unembarrassed about shaving your armpits on the regular even though. 

Brianna Perry - Marilyn Murphy 

Ugh, this new Miami rap chick is so gorgeous it literally hurts. It’s just kind of a shame that her flow is bland as hell. 

I wanna drink my pain away but I’m on a diet and I don’t want to deal with the extra calories

and no one will love me if I’m fat, so that doesn’t really solve anything. 

Can I just have like a really lusty but dramatic three month relationship with the kind of break up that breaks my heart

so I can just go back to like hating dudes and not caring about relationships and continuing to concentrate on being all that I need. Why has the Goddesses played this cruel trick on me where they have taking away my sex drive and replaced it with this pathetic Bridgette Jones glob of relationship envy? 

If only I had know the simple act of photoshopping Paula Dean atop Lady Gaga would periodically render my dashboard so cluttered I can hardly read it every few months I would have never done it. 

If only I had know the simple act of photoshopping Paula Dean atop Lady Gaga would periodically render my dashboard so cluttered I can hardly read it every few months I would have never done it. 

The Miami Cuban American Republican political machine does not fuck around. Romney scored his biggest country victory in Florida in Miami-Dade. It’s the biggest county in the state, the 8th in the nation, and 1st of any county that’s gone to the polls. Meanwhile, Rick Santorum got his lowest percentage of the vote here than in any other county in Florida, and yet somehow he still managed to beat Paul. Miamians do not fuck around with those fringey types. Just look at the attendance at Sun Life Stadium. No one shows up for someone we all know is gonna lose. 

The Miami Cuban American Republican political machine does not fuck around. Romney scored his biggest country victory in Florida in Miami-Dade. It’s the biggest county in the state, the 8th in the nation, and 1st of any county that’s gone to the polls. Meanwhile, Rick Santorum got his lowest percentage of the vote here than in any other county in Florida, and yet somehow he still managed to beat Paul. Miamians do not fuck around with those fringey types. Just look at the attendance at Sun Life Stadium. No one shows up for someone we all know is gonna lose. 

At least Brian Moylan is good for reminding me that Peter Brant II is now legally 18, and I can once again legally indulge myself in fantasies of being whisped away into the elite corner of New York Society by a dashing young asshole heir for the first time since I (and the rest of the internet) forgot about PC Peterson. And Petey has actual money, and his father could surely ensure me the type of gig where I can have my name somewhere on Interview mag’s masthead with the littlest amount of work.
People will ask, “Oh, what do you do?”
And I will say, “I’m a contributing editor at Interview magazine” 
And they will whisper behind my back, “Yeah, he contributes blowjobs to the publisher’s son” 
And it will all be so very glamorous. 
*DREAMS* 

At least Brian Moylan is good for reminding me that Peter Brant II is now legally 18, and I can once again legally indulge myself in fantasies of being whisped away into the elite corner of New York Society by a dashing young asshole heir for the first time since I (and the rest of the internet) forgot about PC Peterson. And Petey has actual money, and his father could surely ensure me the type of gig where I can have my name somewhere on Interview mag’s masthead with the littlest amount of work.

People will ask, “Oh, what do you do?”

And I will say, “I’m a contributing editor at Interview magazine” 

And they will whisper behind my back, “Yeah, he contributes blowjobs to the publisher’s son” 

And it will all be so very glamorous. 

*DREAMS* 

Just realized that neither editor today said a word to me about doing any sort of live coverage of either the Republican Primary or the eviction of the Occupy Miami encampment (yeah, very fucking sneaking police doing it on the night of the primary), and I was like “Oh, god I should do something! What should I do? These are important stories the world needs to know about” but then I realized I’m a 9-to-5 blogger and not a one man news bureau. So I’m just gonna relax tonight and watch netflix. 

Also, its not like people aren’t going to realize Romney won Florida unless a blog post went up on an alt-weekly newsblog. 

tinyvessels asked: actually yes because I know everyone is up in arms about her but I have no idea why... I saw her SNL performance and it was bad, but people were talking about her before that and I just don't get it.

Oh, lord the ultimate Lana Del Rey question! 

Basically sometime this summer Lana Del Rey uploaded a music video that was essentially a certain type of Tumblr in video form: vintage images, paparazzi shots of a “cool” :indie” actress, and the video equivalent of a bunch of PhotoBooth GPOYs all meaninglessly and randomly edited together and set to a sort of OK song. 

Predictably, the same segment of the internet who would maintain such a Tumblr went crazy. Dudes who loved blow jobs followed (see: lips). Then Pitchfork capped it off with a Best New Track. The indie hype train had left the station. 

Unfortunately for her, it turned out that the same group of people who originally clamored behind her are the same type of assholes who concern themselves with matters of authenticity. She had a failed career as a more conventional singer under her real name Lizzy Grant and looked like this. She’s got a rich daddy, and as it turned out a rich corporate daddy as well in Interscope records. 

None of which really concerns me necessarily, except she seems to lack any sort of self awareness about the whole thing (nor do the fucking people complaining about her authenticity anyway, for the most part). She goes around calling her self the “Gangsta Nancy Sinatra” and says she was born in a trailer park. So really its just a fun shitshow to watch from the sidelines. 

Oh, and also maybe she ripped off Video Games from some old Greek song

Does anyone want to ask me questions about Lana Del Rey? I think the internet needs some more Lana Del Rey discussion. 

WAIT YOU GUYS!?! I’M SO CONFUSED!!! 
I thought that conservatives thought that corporations were people and thus were entitled to free speech? I thought the right was just fine with corporations polluting our electoral system with their dollars? But I guess its not cool if a corporation expresses an opinion in ways other than money? 
So confusing, but the people at NOM probably aren’t thinking straight (ha). Lord knows they probably haven’t had their coffee in days. 

WAIT YOU GUYS!?! I’M SO CONFUSED!!! 

I thought that conservatives thought that corporations were people and thus were entitled to free speech? I thought the right was just fine with corporations polluting our electoral system with their dollars? But I guess its not cool if a corporation expresses an opinion in ways other than money? 

So confusing, but the people at NOM probably aren’t thinking straight (ha). Lord knows they probably haven’t had their coffee in days. 

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Bad Girls - M.I.A.

I’ll probably never be able to hate M.I.A. 

(Source: dolinska)

The original draft of Pitchfork’s Born to Die review. 

The original draft of Pitchfork’s Born to Die review.